Should I Marry Him/Her?
Finding a marriage partner can be tough, someone who is kind, who understands you, is attractive and hopefully shares some similar interests… what do you do if that person takes drugs, though? Maybe it doesn’t seem like much, at only once or twice a month for example, but still, drugs are drugs, right?
Is it worth just continuing… hoping that you could change that? Hoping that they will change for you? Well, no one can really make that decision for you, BUT here is some data on marriage and drug use for you to think about.
- First, if you are thinking of marrying them on the hope that they will change, do you really have anything to go on, to show you that that is a likely path? Second, is it fair on them—marrying them with this conditional hanging over their head?
- There are many drug users that despite intentions to not get worse, to not abuse drugs any further, end up progressively sliding deeper into addiction, as the drugs get a tighter and tighter grip. The idea of lessening the drug use may turn into a gradual increase in usage instead.
- Many drugs users (especially heavy users) have one true love—their drug of choice. It is often not something that a user is in control of, but is rather just an effect of the drug, caused by both mental and physical cravings.
- Though you won’t be marrying for financial reasons, there is a lot to be said for having a financially stable partner to commit to, and build a marriage with. Statistically, those using drugs have a higher rate of unemployment, and higher rate of job turn over.
- Of course, the potentials are worse than this, as the person could resort to crime to fuel the drug use. There is a strong correlation between drugs and crime. Not just stealing to support the high cost of drugs, but often just actions and behaviour that wouldn’t be considered while sober, are carried out while high.
- These types of actions, on all too many occasions, can include abuse. A loving partner who wouldn’t think of raising a hand to you or the children on a normal day, may while high turn into an unexpected monster… one who may not even remember what he/she did the next day.
- If not abuse the other difficult thing to deal with is neglect. As a drug user further falls into drug abuse and addiction, the friendship circle will change and so does interests. Unfortunately, you and any children can sometimes find yourself falling into the background in terms of priorities and interests.
- Last and maybe most important to think about… if you are wondering if you can change your partner, may they be thinking the same? It is not just a sober person who can help an addict go straight, an addict can also lead a sober person down the path to addiction!
Now I certainly don’t recommend giving up on your love, but maybe see if you can get them help now, don’t set yourself up to be trapped in an unhappy marriage later. Do whatever you can to help your loved one out of the trap of addiction, through a good rehabilitation programme, and hopefully onto a sober life. In that way, hopefully, you have given any future marriage a firm base to get started on.
For more information on how we may be able to help you, contact us on 00800 802 1375