I Can Put My Heart and Soul Back Together
There are certain rules of life that everyone must follow. These rules are the ones that come at great cost to oneself if they are broken. If you are not caught for a crime, it does not mean that for that particular crime there is no cost, for it broke the moral code that is within yourself.
Before, I always believed that if I was not caught for a crime then I did not pay any cost for that crime.
This is wrong, for every time that I committed a crime there was a cost to be paid. The price was the slow demise of my soul and a guilt that lived inside of me building up time after time.
The drugs numbed those feelings and created a cycle in which you can’t live with the guilt, therefore you use drugs and then have to use drugs and you have to commit more crime and stretch your morals further. Then again, in order to live with what you are doing, you use more.
I could not control the situation I had got myself into. It was slow steps that took me there and I never could see the big picture.
Now I can see the entire picture for what it was and the ability to control myself and my behaviours.
I can put my heart and soul back together. The power that comes from knowing I will no longer have to pay the price for my wrong doings is amazing.
I can follow the rules at no cost to myself. I feel the strength to know I am doing the right thing, making steps forward in my life and achieving something.
I no longer feel the weight I have so often carried with me.
I look to the present and future, the past is a book that I have written but is now closed.